The Christmas Files by Alan Wilkinson

Author:Alan Wilkinson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Christmas, Santa, Elves, Humour, Heist, Thief, Action, Twist, Bank, Grinch, Xmas, festive, holiday, season, snow, presents, jesus
ISBN: 9781849891714
Publisher: Andrews UK Limited 2010
Published: 2010-07-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 11

Main Hangar, Sector 12, The Grotto

5 minutes to Christmas

Santa stared in bewilderment at the controls of the sleigh. The dashboard was a baffling array of flashing lights and dials, none of which meant anything to him.

“I don’t even know where to start,” he moaned to Ulf.

Ulf leaned in and flicked a red switch in the centre console.

“That’s the auto-pilot. It will do pretty much everything for you. The co-ordinates for your journey have been programmed into the satellite navigation system, so all you have to do is press the ignition button, which is there,” Ulf pointed to a round, black button to the right of the steering wheel, “and try not to fall out.”

“I think I can do that,” said Santa, feeling comforted.

“If there are any problems, or you feel you want to change your course, switch off the auto-pilot and use the steering wheel. If you want to change the height your flying at, punch the altitude you want into this console,” Ulf pointed to a bank of numbers which sat below a grey digital display, “and press the green button.”

“No, problem,” said Santa. “I think I’m good to go. Where’s Rakki?”

Ulf shrugged.

“I’m not sure. I haven’t seen her around.”

“That’s not like her. Maybe we should go look for her,” said Santa, standing up.

“There’s no time. Take-off is in two minutes,” cautioned Ulf.

Santa reluctantly sat back down.

“Now how do you feel? Seatbelt’s not too tight?” questioned Ulf.

“It’s fine,” replied Santa shifting his weight around.

“Now remember you’ve got to keep that seatbelt on.”

“I know, I know.”

“And you can’t have any sherry while you’re driving this. It doesn’t matter how many people have left one out for you.”

“You sound like my doctor. You’ll be telling me to lay off the Christmas pudding next.”

“Well, it’s not a bad idea. Remember how those gall stones felt and your last blood pressure reading was through the roof.”

“If you lot have your way, I’ll have nothing left to enjoy in life.”

“We’re just looking out for you,” said Ulf, patting Santa’s large belly.

Santa stared down at how the seatbelt strained slightly against his oversized stomach.

“I suppose you’re right. Tell you what, I promise to go on a diet. I’ll make it my New Year’s resolution.”

“Good for you,” said Ulf with a smile. “Now lets get down to business. You’ve got children to please. Ready for the off?”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” said Santa with a brisk salute.

“Okay, open the hangar doors.” Ulf turned to an elf who was standing 20 yards away behind a large control panel. The elf nodded and pulled back a silver lever in front of him. Slowly the large steel doors on the far side of the hangar slid open, revealing an inky black sky, pricked by shimmering stars.

“At the ready,” bellowed Ulf, turning back to Santa, who nodded the affirmative. “Okay. FIVE….. FOUR…..THREE…..TWO…..ONE…..LIFT OFF!”

“Merry Christmas everyone,” cried Santa. He punched the ignition, the engines flared and he shot off into the dark night.

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